Saturday, April 19, 2008

Love and negotiations at first site

One of the most focused first dates I ever heard of happened between the people from whom I bought my apartment. They had met in passing at a seminar years earlier. Then they bumped into each other at a party. He got her phone number and called her. He said that he had to go out and check on his summer cottage to see whether there had been any hurricane damage and asked if she’d like to come along. She said she was looking to get married and have kids and had no interest in “casual dating.” He said he wouldn’t even consider that kind of seriousness unless he’d had sex with a woman first. Before the first date, they’d negotiated a weekend together, sex, and a potential for marriage and kids. While I’m not sure I would recommend this approach to everyone, it worked splendidly for them; they were married within six months and pregnant shortly thereafter. Being this focused certainly makes a statement. Like my mom says, “You don’t ask, you don’t get.”

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