Profile of the politically correct date: A joke

DON’T

• Drink more than two glasses of red wine . . . if you drink at all.
• Eat meat (fish and chicken are okay).
• Set your hairstyle with hair spray from an aerosol can.
• Wear fur, leather, perfume, cologne, or chemicals of any kind (includes sunscreen and antiperspirant).
• Discuss politics (unless you met at a rally).
• Call her “babe” or him “sir.”

DO

• Ask for bottled water in the restaurant.
• Discuss whale watching and spotted owl spotting.
• Praise family values.
• Insist on splitting the check.