Ten signs it’s a disaster date

Your date:

1. Goes to the bathroom and never returns.
2. Stiffs you with the bill after ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.
3. Sits at another table.
4. Flirts with the waiter or waitress.
5. Says, “I just forgot, my father’s having surgery,” “I’m having a root canal,” or “I’m taking final vows,” when you suggest getting together again.
6. Asks to borrow your car keys and doesn’t return.
7. Asks to practice your signature and then steals your credit card.
8. Calls a parent to come pick them up without telling you.
9. Calls the police.
10. Buys an attack dog.

Ending a disastrous date

If you don’t want to see each other again, don’t say you’ll call. If you’re bored to tears, don’t say, “Yeah, that would be fun,” when your date suggests a follow-up day at the beach. It’s icky, it’s awkward, it’s painful, it makes your forehead sweat, but honesty is ultimately the best way to go. If you have no intention of seeing what’s behind date number two, say it now. Be polite, be firm, be honest, be brave. Do the right thing. You can say, “I’ll be busy for the next six months,” “I feel a migraine coming on,” or “I’m taking final vows on Thursday.” They’ll get the message. Just don’t say, “I’ll call” or “Maybe we can do this again” if you have no desire to do either.

• Don’t say you’ll call, fax, e-mail, beep. It’s not nice to be dishonest about what you intend to do.
• Don’t have sex. The reason is pretty obvious, right?

Ending so-so date

Sometimes you’re not sure how you feel until the excitement dies down and real-life takes over and you regain your perspective. That’s perfectly fine. Just ’fess up. Tell your date you had a good time, your head is spinning, and you need a little time to sort out your feelings. It may sound a tad insensitive, but it’s much better than the “Hey, baby, I’ll call you” line if you’re really not sure you will.
If your date says to you he or she needs a few days to digest it all, smile sweetly, say “Great” and go home. Not go phone. Simply go home and live your life. Remember, a watched phone never rings.
So if you’re not sure about the date:

• Wait for follow-up — but live your life: Don’t spend all your time waiting next to the phone.
• Give yourself a week or so to ponder: Upon reflection, the scales usually tip one way or the other.
• Don’t have sex: If you’re not sure how you feel about the date, you are definitely not ready to have sex.

Ending successful date

If your date is going well, mention date number two before date number one is over. You don’t have to fish out your PDA or whip out a cell phone to check with your secretary or your mom or your boss, but the subject can be broached. This is important: Be honest (don’t say you’ll call just to be nice).
When the date ends, do any — or all — of the following:

• Make out: You know, share soulful kisses and tender caresses — but don’t have sex.
  
• Follow up: Call, e-mail, fax, beep.

Ending the Date Gracefully

At first glance, it would seem easy to know when a date is over. The empty dishes have been cleared off your table, the check is paid, the theater lights are up, or the sun has risen. There are definitely markers. But a date is an emotional event. What’s an empty restaurant and five glaring waiters when this could be true love? Plus, if things are going well, you’re also battling your biology.
When you’re in the throes of infatuation, a chemical in your brain called phenylethylamine (PEA) causes those tingly feelings of euphoria. Other neurochemicals, namely norepinephrine and dopamine, may also play a part in your “lover’s high.” These natural “uppers” are what cause lovers to stay awake all night gazing into each other’s eyes or talking into the wee hours of the morning. Sadly, or perhaps thankfully, this chemically induced elation fades. Your brain can’t stay in a revved-up state forever! Pacing yourself may seem like a waste of time if you and your date have clicked from the start. But in the long run, it’s always better to leave them wanting more than feeling like it was just this side of too much. Assuming your date has gone well, you want the end of your first date to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, not the grand finale of one memorable night.