A Word about Attitude — Yours

Before I begin listing some of the good places to find somebody fun, let me encourage you to be open — not open-minded about what I’m going to suggest, but open to spontaneity. If you’re in Macy’s and a great-looking person asks whether a particular color looks good with his or her hair, you should hear bells and whistles: potential date, potential date, potential date. Potential dates are everywhere, once you start looking. Just keep a few things in mind:

• Be aware. Both men and women are understandably cautious about being picked up by strangers, so if you’re the one doing the approaching, the hallmarks of your approach have to be gentility, civility, humor, and gentleness. Otherwise, somebody’s likely to call the cops on you. I know — so what’s the problem? Cops are cute. Pay attention here; I’m being serious.
• Be considerate. If someone has found the courage to approach you and you’re not interested, unless they’re really, really scary, say no civilly. You don’t have to be nasty.
• Don’t panic. If I were to promise you that you would meet the person of your dreams in ten years, and the two of you would be wildly happy for the rest of your lives, would you be willing to wait that ten years? Of course you would. So assume that meeting your dreamboat is just a matter of time and, in the meantime, have fun, which definitely increases your chances of being appealing when you run into that date-to-be ten minutes, months, years, or decades from now.