Friday, June 6, 2008

How to get some feedback?


If you get a no, you may want to take a minute to try to figure out why. Make sure you haven’t gotten into some bad habits. You may need to ask yourself some tough questions. Are you too eager, too desperate, too whiny, too silly, or too tense? Is your breath okay? Do you make eye contact? No matter how honest you think you are, give yourself some balance by asking a willing friend to critique your approach (you’ve seen it in a million movies where the hero or heroine practices in front of a mirror — no, not Travis Bickle’s “You lookin’ at me?” line). Balance your friend’s feedback with your own opinion so that you’re not being too easy or too harsh on yourself. If you mess up your careful scenario, your friend can give you some tips and hints on improving it, and you can make sense of what you meant to say or do. Practicing can help you get a grip on your nerves. A little nervousness is flattering to the potential date because it shows that you really want to get to know him or her. Too much nervousness can panic both of you. All things considered, it’s probably even better to be a little bit nervous than so nonchalant and cool that your potential date has the sense you couldn’t care less if he or she accepts your invitation or not, because if he or she isn’t interested, no biggie, it’s not them, you’ll just move on to someone else. It’s not a terrible idea to start a first date on an honest basis. I know — don’t tell anybody I told you, and we’ll try to keep it our dirty little secret.

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