Thursday, March 31, 2011

When to say “I love you” (and when to keep quiet)

Few things are more memorable than the magical, angst-ridden, fingers-crossed, breath-held, passion-filled moment when either you or your date says, “I love you.” The phrase is much more than three little words. It’s also a silent question. As in, “Do you love me, too?” Properly managing this moment can spell the difference between euphoria and humiliation. Tips:
  • Wait at least several months, a minimum of three but preferably longer, before confessing your true love — even if you feel it on the first night. It takes a while to gain and build trust. Zooming ahead too fast can easily backfire, and it’s really embarrassing to find out you changed your mind and you don’t really love ’em.
  • If your date says, “I love you” and you don’t love your date back, don’t say “Love you, too” just to be nice. You’ll open a can of worms that’ll only make a gigantic mess.
  • If you’ve been together a while and you’re just waiting for your date to spill the beans first, take a chance and tell him or her how you feel. Your date may be waiting for you to take the plunge.
  • Realize that “love” doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. For some, the word “love” is followed by the word “marriage.” For others, “love” is always followed by “ya.” Make sure you’re clear on how you feel before putting your feelings into words, and give a thought to the way your date might receive what you’re about to say.
  • Understand that true love implies commitment. If you’re not ready to be monogamous, connected, open, and loving, don’t say “I love you” just yet.
  • If the only time you’re tempted to confess love is during sex or when you’re apart, close your mouth, open your eyes, and see what’s really going on.

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