Wednesday, February 25, 2009


You know that great feeling when you and another person are totally in sync? You laugh at the same jokes, love the same food, both thought The English Patient was way too long? Similarity is the essence of connection, and connection is the essence of trust, and trust is the foundation for true love.
You’re mirroring each other if you’re
  • Duplicating your date’s body language. Are you both leaning forward at the same time, each sitting with legs crossed?
  • Adopting the same speaking rhythm. Are you both talking softly, going back and forth conversationally, sharing the same pacing?
  • Echoing style or energy level. Are you both mellow or energized, calm or hyped? Subtlety is the essence of good mirroring.
You don’t want to get caught mimicking your date. The trick is to have your date feel connected, not pick up on a monkey-see, monkey-do act. You’ll naturally either fall into — or out of — a sort of relationship sync, which you can’t fake for long. Rather than direct yourself to do it, see whether mirroring just occurs normally.

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