Thursday, February 7, 2008

How people can become friends?

The place to start is with an acquaintance that you really like, who seems to have some time available, and with whom you have something in common. Adult friendships are based on characteristics that you share or with which you’re compatible, not overall similarities, so your friend to be may be older or younger than you, taller or shorter, smarter or slower, richer or poorer, or more or less energetic.

Beware of using the same criteria for adult friends that you used when you were 12. Twelve-year-old girls’ minds meld: They essentially become one person because they have everything in common: boys, parents, braces, new breasts, bratty sibs, geometry, and zits. Also, 12-year-olds don’t have a fully developed personality structure intact yet either; they are still a less solidified version of the person they will become: less rigid, less defined, less sure. You will never again feel as close to another living soul (unless you happen to be an identical twin). If you look for that same degree of intimacy, you’re going to spend your whole life being disappointed for no good reason.

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