Saturday, April 30, 2011

Good questions to ask

It’s important not only to be interested but to seem interested in your date by asking cool questions like the following:

_ What do you do?
_ What sports do you like?
_ What’s your favorite free-time activity?
_ What movies have you seen?
_ What restaurants do you like?
_ Do you think the president’s doing a good job?

Avoid questions like the following:
  • Do you come here often? Trite, silly, and demeaning leading nowhere.
  • How’s your food? The most common response is “Fine.” Complaining is tacky, and what are you going to do about it? If you want to focus on the food (I wouldn’t suggest it), you can offer to share. You can find out gobs about your date very quickly by his or her willingness — or unwillingness — to share.
  • Can you believe the weather? Pleeeze try harder than this. It’s a deadend question that runs the risk of making you sound desperate. Good questions are those that draw your date out without putting him or her on the spot. The goal here is to learn about one another, not scare the daylights out of your date with your investigative prowess. You’re trying to show interest, not terrorize. Talk, explain, find out what makes your date tick a bit. It’s fun, so lighten up and follow these easy guidelines:
  • Be prepared to talk about a lot of things. You can see why keeping up with current events, the latest movie, a local political scandal, or (in a pinch) your horoscope is a cool idea. If all you can talk about is work or your exes, it’s going to be hard to begin building those conversational bridges that give you the feeling that you’re getting to know someone and letting him or her get to know you.
  • Don’t worry about your next question. Listen to your date’s response. It’s even okay to be quiet for a minute or two.
  • Don’t fall into the Spanish Inquisition phenomenon.

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