Saturday, July 31, 2010

All the right moves

The day after a so-so date can be confusing. Do you call? Do you sit tight? Apologize? Swear you’ll never wear that puce pantsuit again? Knowing precisely when to be passive and when to charge is hard. My general rule is this:
If your date derailed because of something you said or did, call and apologize. Everyone makes dumb mistakes. Everyone understands. It’s saying nothing that leaves a bad taste with everyone.
If, on the other hand, your date just didn’t sizzle like you hoped it would for some reason you can’t pin down, let time shed a little light on the situation. Don’t call the next day (or that night). In fact, don’t call at all until you’re sure of these three things:

_ You want a second date because you like the person, not just because you want to make sure they like you.
_ You’ve identified what you may do differently next time, like relax, go to a place where you can talk, not bring your mother, and so on.
_ You’re not feeling so guilty and responsible that your second date becomes a “make-up” date instead of a second chance to get to know one another.

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