Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, sort of . . .

The one time you really do want to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is when your date asks, “Can I call you?” — or worse, “Will you call me?” The phone thing is fraught with nearly every conceivable emotion —hope, fear, anxiety, trust, excitement, rejection, and anticipation. Now is the moment to take a deep breath and tell the truth. It’s not fair to leave her waiting by a phone that refuses to ring or have him logging on to check his e-mail every few hours. If you’re not going to call, now or in the millennium, don’t say you will. Period. It’s not cool. It’s not fair. It’s not what polite, respectful people do. That said, here are a few tactful ways to get the message across:

• “Though I had fun tonight, I don’t think it’s going to work out between us.”
• “To be honest, I see you as more of a friend.”
• “We’re just too different, you and I.”
• “I don’t want to mislead you by telling you I’ll call. I’m sorry, but I probably won’t.”
• “I’m going to be really busy at work for the next couple of months.”
• “Family concerns are going to keep me tied up.” It’s tough. No two ways about it.

Everyone wants to believe in love and union and two souls who were meant to be together. But if this isn’t that scene, don’t make it even worse by lying and leading your date to believe it might one day be.