Thursday, January 28, 2010

Deploying survival strategies


If you’re not having a good time but your date is, give these strategies a try. Not only can they get you through the evening, but they give you the opportunity to discover interesting and worthwhile things about your date and yourself — and that’s never a waste of time.
  • Identify three things you like about your date. Everyone has at least a few interesting and unique qualities. When a date starts to slide downhill, we tend to magnify the negative moments in our minds and discount the positive. Reverse this trend: Find three things you like about your date. They don’t have to be big things. You don’t have to suddenly realize you love this person’s personality. Start small. Do you like her hair? His hands? Her laugh? His quirky sense of humor?
  • Become a good listener. View this as a great opportunity to sharpen your listening skills. Stay in the moment. Don’t second-guess what you could have possibly done here or worry about what you’re going to tell your friends or how you’re going to get a good night’s sleep. Really listen to what your date has to say — without judgment. You may hear something interesting.
  • Relax and tune in to your surroundings. Enjoy the food, the atmosphere, the popcorn, the movie, the biscotti, the sunshine, the snow, the sound of bowling pins falling each time you score a strike. Shift your focus away from a date that’s not working out to all the things that are perfectly fine.

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